#my student years ago
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I realized I didn’t post this earlier. But I saw Alex Hirsch the other day! He was at a Barnes and Noble in San Diego (which I’m in for Comic Con, ha) and while I sadly was unable to get a ticket for an autograph, I did stop by to see him at least. And then, the next day, I went back to pick up a copy of The Book of Bill that he’d signed, since I know Barnes and Noble sometimes has extras they sell the next day. It’s a little disappointing it’s only his initials, but I get he prolly didn’t want to sign hundreds of stickers with his full signature, ha. And I have his full signature on a Stan and Bill toy box that someone who was a fan of my FB page sent me years ago, so it’s not like I don’t have anything with his signature.
(Which is here, if anyone wanted to see)
Overall, it was neat to see him, even if I didn’t get to interact with him. :-)
#Book of Bill#Gravity Falls#BOB#alex hirsch#Bill Cipher#I had already purchased the book on Amazon presale but I HAD to get his autograph even if it’s just the initials#I also got a copy for my friend who I’ll ship it to once Comic Con ends#I’ll give my Amazon copy to the older kids at work since I think they like Gravity Falls…#I know the older sister of one of the incoming fifth graders loved Gravity Falls since she would always talk about it with me when she was#my student years ago#Oh I also took a video of him but I don’t know if they want us to share it so I won’t yet
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I love talking to rabbis as a recent conversion student because the interaction goes something like, "you're converting? Now?! At this time, at this moment in history?!". And they always talk about this influx of jewish convert students they've seen recently, and it's like...
There's this level of respect I get from rabbis for converting at this point in time, but... Has there ever been a good time to be a jew in the last thousand years or so plus? I'm imagining that rabbis and jews in general back in 1492, back in 1290, back in 1349 would have said the exact same thing. So, really, there is only a time to be a jew. Maybe it's not a "good" time, yes, but it is a time. And to me, that's good enough
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#and to me i *know* that being a jew has historically Not Been a Good Time. i don't ask that of my conversion#i would convert if i had to run one day. in fact i count on that as a possibility#that's why i like simple judaica. if i have to run away with my people it'll be easier with simple bare-boned judaica#i would convert even in the middle of a desert. in the middle of exhile. on threat of pain and death#because to me being a jew isn't about it being a 'good time.' it's about being true and honest about what i need to be#if i were born this same way a thousand years ago i would make this decision again#where you rest; i will rest. where you pray; i will pray. when you weep; i shall weep. and where you die; i will die#i can only speak for myself but i've seen other students with a similar mindset#so in truth it's not the timing that motivated me. it's deeper. it can't be intellectualized. it is a primal feeling - something soul-deep
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i turned 18 today tim . what were you doing when you were 18 besides filming the landscape altering first ever web horror series
MH wasn't til i was 20, at 18 i was getting ready to go to college with no plan bc i'd figure it out over time and it'd work itself out. ha ha ha ha
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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patience being tested. being forced by a bizarre unfortunate situation to adhere to university requirement technicality by taking this simple basic elementary "introduction to environmental history" class.
this class is from facilitators/program which do, like, "history of the American frontier" or "history of fishing and hunting" and still basically subscribe to that old-school twentieth-century idealization and celebration of characters like Teddy Roosevelt and reverence for a mythical arc-of-history-bent-towards-justice narrative of the often-clumsy but ultimately-benevolent US federal government and its mission to "save nature" through the miracle of "sustained yield," while heroic federal land management agencies and "heritage" institutions lead to way, staffed by exceptional individuals (appeals to nostalgia for the frontier and an imagined landscape of the American West; ego-stroking appeals to flattering self-image that center the environmentalist or academic). where they invoke, y'know, ideas like "ecology is important because don't you enjoy cross-country skiing in The Woods with your niece and nephew? don't you like hunting and fishing?" which makes it feel like a time capsule of appeals and discourses from the 1970s. and it invokes concept of "untouched wilderness" (while eliding scale of historical Indigenous environmental relationships and current ongoing colonial violence/extractivism). but just ever-so-slightly updated with a little bit of chic twenty-first-century flair like a superficial land acknowledgement or a reference to "labor histories" or "history from below," which is extra aggravating when the old ideologies/institutions are still in power but they're muddying the water and diluting the language/frameworks (it's been strange, watching words like "multispecies" and "Anthropocene" over the years slowly but surely show-up on the posters, fliers, course descriptions, by now even appearing adjacent to the agri-business and resource extraction feeder programs, like a recuperation or appropriation.) even from a humanities angle, it's still, they're talking at me like "You probably didn't know this, but environmental history is actually pretty entangled with political and social events. In fact, we can synthesize sources and glean environmental info from wacky places like workers' rolls in factories, ship's logs, and poetry from the era." and i'm nodding like YEP.
the first homework assignment is respond to this: "Define and describe 'the Anthropocene'. Do you think 'the Anthropocene' is a useful concept? Why or why not?" Respond in 300 words.
so for fun, right now in class, going to see how fast i can pull up discussion of Anthropocene-as-concept solely from my old posts on this microblogging site.
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ok, found some
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I think that the danger in any universal narrative or epoch or principle is exactly that it can itself become a colonizing force. [...] I’m suspicious of the Anthropocene as concept for the very reason that it subsumes so many peoples, nations, histories, geographies, political orders. For that reason, I think ideas like the Anthropocene can be a useful short-hand for a cluster of tangible things going on with the Earth at the moment, but we have to be very careful about how fluid and dynamic ideas become concretized into hegemonic principles in the hands of researchers, policymakers, and politicians. There’s so much diversity in histories and experiences and environmental realities even between relatively linked geographies here in Canada [...]. Imagine what happens when we try to do that on a global scale - and a lot of euro-western Anthropocene, climate change and resilience research risks doing that - eliding local specificities and appropriating knowledge to serve a broader euro-western narrative without attending to the inherent colonial and imperial realities of science and policy processes, or even attending to the ways that colonial capitalist expansion has created these environmental crises to begin with. While we, as a collective humanity, are struggling with the realities of the Anthropocene, it is dangerous to erase the specific histories, power-relations, political orders that created the crisis to begin with. So, I’m glad that a robust critique of the Anthropocene as a concept is emerging.
Text by: Words of Zoe Todd, as interviewed and transcribed by Caroline Picard. “The Future is Elastic (But it Depends): An Interview with Zoe Todd.” 23 August 2016.
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The Great Acceleration is the latest in a series of human-driven planetary changes that constitute what a rising chorus of scientists, social scientists, and humanists have labeled the Anthropocene - a new Age of Humans. [...] But what the Anthropocene label masks, and what the litany of graphs documenting the Great Acceleration hide, is a history of racial oppression and violence, along with wealth inequality, that has built and sustained engines of economic growth and consumption over the last four centuries. [...] The plantation, Sidney Mintz long ago observed, was a “synthesis of field and factory,” an agro-industrial system of enterprise [...]. Plantation legacies, along with accompanying strategies of survival and resistance, dwell in the racialized geographies of the United States’ and Brazil’s prison systems. They surface in the inequitable toxic burdens experienced by impoverished communities of color in places like Cancer Alley, an industrial corridor of petrochemical plants running along the Mississippi River from New Orleans to Baton Rouge, where cotton was once king. And they appear in patterns of foreign direct investment and debt servitude that structure many land deals in the Caribbean, Brazil, and sub-Saharan Africa [...]. [C]limatologists and global change scientists from the University of London, propose instead 1610 as a date for the golden spike of the Anthropocene. The date marked a detectable global dip in carbon dioxide concentrations, precipitated, they argue, by the death of nearly 50 million indigenous human inhabitants [...]. The degradation of soils in the tobacco and cotton-growing regions in the American South, or in the sugarcane growing fields of many Caribbean islands, for example, was a consequence of an economic and social system that inflicted violence upon the land and the people enslaved to work it. Such violent histories are not so readily evident in genealogies that date the Anthropocene’s emergence to the Neolithic Revolution 12,000 years ago, the onset of Europe’s industrial revolution circa 1800, or the Trinity nuclear test of 1945. Sugarcane plantations were already prevalent throughout the Mediterranean basin during the late middle ages. But it was during the early modern era, and specifically in the Caribbean, where the intersection of emerging proto-capitalist economic models based on migratory forced labor (first indentured servitude, and later slavery), intensive land usage, globalized commerce, and colonial regimes sustained on the basis of relentless racialized violence, gave rise to the transformative models of plantations that reshaped the lives and livelihoods of human and non-human beings on a planetary scale. [...] We might, following the lead of science studies scholar Donna Haraway and anthropologist Anna Tsing, more aptly designate this era the Plantationocene. [...] It is also an invitation to see, in the words of geographer Laura Pulido, “the Anthropocene as a racial process,” one that has and will continue to produce “racially uneven vulnerability and death." [...] And how have such material transformations sustained global flows of knowledge and capital that continue to reproduce the plantation in enduring ways?
Text by: Sophie Sapp Moore, Monique Allewaert, Pablo F. Gomez, and Gregg Mitman. "Plantation Legacies." Edge Effects. 22 January 2019. Updated 15 May 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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Geologists and other scientists will fight over [the definition of the beginning start-date of the Anthropocene] in scientific language, seeking traces of carbon dioxide that index the worst offenses of European empire which rent and violated the flesh, bodies, and governance structures of Indigenous and other sovereign peoples in the name of gold, lumber, trade, land, and power. [...] The stories we tell about the origins of the Anthropocene implicate how we understand the relations we have with our surrounds. In other words, the naming of the Anthropocene epoch and its start date have implications not just for how we understand the world, but this understanding will have material consequences, consequences that affect body and land.
Text by: Heather Davis and Zoe Todd. On the Importance of a Date, or Decolonizing the Anthropocene. ACME An International Journal for Critical Geographies. December 2017. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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From Aime and Suzanne Cesaire, C. L. R. James, Claudia Jones, Eduoard Glissant, through Sylvia Wynter, Christina Sharpe, and so many others, critical anticolonial and race theory has been written from the specific histories that marked the Black Atlantic. [...] Glissant also reminds us, secondly, of how cunning the absorptive powers of [...] liberal capitalism are - how quickly specific relations are remade as relations-erasing universal abstractions. [...] This absorptive, relations-erasing universalism is especially apparent in some contemporary discourses of […] liberalism and climate collapse - what some call the Anthropocene - especially those that anchor the crisis in a general Human calamity which, as Sylvia Wynter has noted, is merely the name of an overdetermined and specific [White] European man. […] [T]he condition of creating this new common European world was the destruction of a multitude of existing black and brown worlds. The tsunami of colonialism was not seen as affecting humanity, but [...] these specific people. They were specific - what happened to them may have been necessary, regrettable, intentional, accidental - but it is always them. It is only when these ancestral histories became present for some, for those who had long benefitted from the dispossession [...], that suddenly the problem is all of us, as human catastrophe.
Text by: Elizabeth Povinelli. “The Ancestral Present of Oceanic Illusions: Connected and Differentiated in Late Toxic Liberalism.” e-flux Journal Issue #112. October 2020.
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The narrative arc [of White "liberal humanism"] [...] is often told as a kind of European coming-of-age story. […] The Anthropocene discourse follows the same coming-of-age [...] script, searching for a material origin story that would explain the newly identified trajectory of the Anthropos […]. Sylvia Wynter, W.E.B. DuBois, and Achille Mbembe all showed how that genealogy of [White subjecthood] was [...] articulated through sixteenth- through nineteenth-century [historiographies and discourses] in the context of colonialism, [...] as well as forming the material praxis of their rearrangement (through mining, ecological rearrangements and extractions, and forms of geologic displacements such as plantations, dams, fertilizers, crops, and introduction of “alien” animals). […] As Wynter (2000) commented, “The degradation of concrete humans, that was/is the price of empire, of the kind of [Eurocentric epistemology] that underlies it” (154).
Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. “The Inhumanities.” Annals of the American Association of Geographers, Volume 11, Issue 3. November 2020.
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As Yarimar Bonilla suggests in regard to post-Irma-and-Maria Puerto Rico, “vulnerability is not simply a product of natural conditions; it is a political state and a colonial condition.” Many in the Caribbean therefore speak about the coloniality of disaster, and the unnaturalness of these “natural” disasters [...]. Others describe this temporality by shifting [...] toward an idea of the Plantationocene [...]. As Moore and her colleagues write, “Plantation worlds, both past and present, offer a powerful reminder that environmental problems cannot be decoupled from histories of colonialism, capitalism, and racism that have made some human beings more vulnerable [...].” [W]e see that contemporary uneven socioecologies associated with the rise of the industrial world ["the Anthropocene"] are based [...] also on the racialized denial and foreshortening of life for the sacrificial majority of black, brown, and Indigenous people and their relegation to the “sacrifice zones” of extractive industry. [...] [A]ny appropriate response to the contemporary climate emergency must first appreciate its foundations in the past history of the violent, coercive, transatlantic system of plantation slavery; in the present global uneven development, antiblackness, and border regimes that shape human vulnerability [...] that continues to influence who has access to resources, safety, and preferable ecologies [...] and who will be relegated to the “plantation archipelagoes” (as Sylvia Wynter called them) [...].
Text by: Mimi Sheller. “Thinking Beyond Coloniality: Toward Radical Caribbean Futures.” Small Axe (2021), 25 (2 (65)), pages 169-170. Published 1 July 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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Indigenous genocide and removal from land and enslavement are prerequisites for power becoming operationalized in premodernity [...]; it was/is a means to operationalize extraction (therefore race should be considered as foundational rather than as periphery to the production of those structures and of global space). [...] Wynter suggests that we […] consider 1452 as the beginning of the New World, as African slaves are put to work on the first plantations on the Portuguese island of Madeira, initiating the “sugar-slave” complex - a massive replantation of ecologies and forced relocation of people […]. Wynter argues that the invention of the figure of Man in 1492 as the Portuguese [and Spanish] travel to the Americas instigates at the same time “a refiguring of humanness” in the idea of race. [...] The natal moment of the 1800 Industrial Revolution, […] [apparently] locates Anthropocene origination in […] the "new" metabolisms of technology and matter enabled by the combination of fossil fuels, new engines, and the world as market. […] The racialization of epistemologies of life and nonlife is important to note here […]. While [this industrialization in the nineteenth century] […] undoubtedly transformed the atmosphere with […] coal, the creation of another kind of weather had already established its salient forms in the mine and on the plantation. Paying attention to the prehistory of capital and its bodily labor, both within coal cultures and on plantations that literally put “sugar in the bowl” (as Nina Simone sings) […]. The new modes of material accumulation and production in the Industrial Revolution are relational to and dependent on their preproductive forms in slavery […]. In 1833, Parliament finally abolished slavery in the British Caribbean, and the taxpayer payout of £20 million in “compensation” [paid by the government to slave owners for their lost "property"] built the material, geophysical (railways, mines, factories), and imperial infrastructures of Britain and its colonial enterprises and empire. [...] A significant proportion of funds were invested in the railway system connecting London and Birmingham (home of cotton production and […] manufacturing for plantations), Cambridge and Oxford, and Wales and the Midlands (for coal). Insurance companies flourished [...]. The slave-sugar-coal nexus both substantially enriched Britain and made it possible for it to transition into a colonial industrialized power […]. The slave trade […] fashioned the economic conditions (and institutions, such as the insurance and finance industries) for industrialization.
Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. "White Utopia/Black Inferno: Life on a Geologic Spike". e-flux Journal Issue #97. February 2019. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
#sorry for being mean#instructor makes podcasts about cowboys HELP ME#and he recently won a New Business award for his startup magazine covering Democrat party politics in local area HELP#so hes constantly performing this like dance between new hip beerfest winebar coolness and oldfashioned masculinity#but hes in charge of the certificate program so i have to just shut up and keep my head down for approximately one year#his email address is almost identical to mine and invokes enviro history terms but i made mine long before when i was ten years old#so i could log in to fieldherpforum dot com to talk about enviro history of distribution range changes in local reptiles and amphibians#sir if you read my blog then i apologize ive had a long year#and i cant do anything to escape i am disabled i am constantly sick im working fulltime i have NO family i have NO resources#i took all of this schools graduate level enviro history courses and seminars years ago and ran the geography and enviro hist club#but then left in final semester because sudden hospitalization and crippled and disabled which led to homelessness#which means that as far as any profession or school is concerned im nobody im a retail employee#i was doing conference paper revisions while sleeping on concrete vomiting walking around on my cane to find outdoor wifi#and im not kidding the MONTH i got back into a house and was like ok going back to finish the semester the school had#put my whole degree program and department in moratorium from lack of funding#and so required starting some stuff from scratch and now feel like a hostage with debt or worsening health that could pounce any moment#to even get back in current program i was working sixteen hours a day to pay old library fines and had to delicately back out of workplace#where manager was straight up violently physically abusive to her vulnerable employees and threatened retaliation#like an emotional torturer the likes of which i thought existed only in cartoons#and the week i filed for student aid a massive storm had knocked out electricity for days and i was clearing fallen tree debris#and then sitting in the dark in my room between job shifts no music no phone no food with my fingers crossed and i consider it a miracle#sorry dont mean to dramatize or draw attention to myself#so actually im happy you and i are alive
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tfw octavinelle students get to wear a suit but ur dorm uniform needs an instruction manual
#been thinking abt this for months. i will not draw this nicer u get what u get. their uniform is insane#octavinelle and heartslabyul students like woopsie woke up late! ill just rush to get ready!!#diasomnia waking up with 30 entire minutes dedicated to their outfit. like oh my GOD its so complicated#i spent more time than id care to admit searching refs and information to make sure i didnt miss any deets#and i STILL think i prob took liberties in simplifying this somehow. but yea here u go#this was inspired by a DR post by lordofdorknessgundam from like a million years ago. good food#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#silver vanrouge#sebek zigvolt#suntails
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comic about something that i still don't understand
#my art#happy new year!! my first drawing of the year is a depressing comic ^__^#sorry my mom walked in on me working on my project for my painting class a few days ago#and immediately complained that i'm 'not doing anything important'#like ?? i'm literally working on an assignment?? i'm a design student?? i haven't drawn anything for myself in 4 weeks?? what?? lmao?????#and that awakened some memories LOL#anyways. i'm sure some of you can relate#ok to rb#comic#personal art
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i finally fixed my links and started adding stuff to my INPRNT and REDBUBBLE, sonic, supernatural and teen titans stuff is up there, and i'm open to requests if you have a specific drawing you'd like to purchase form there
also here's some of the all time hits of mine for sonic and detroit become human enjoyers
on m RB i have a lot of stuff, supernatural, sonic, dbh and some fandom lgbtq themes stuff as well, i'd love it if you checked it out. Inprnt is mostly home for art that I can't keep on redbubble, but I also added a bunch of other recent stuff on there
#i'll still be adding one or two spn and tt art later today#id looove it if you checked out my storeeee#im currently unable to get the student benefit that i was kind of relying on getting -_- so i thought id advertise myself for once#supernatural#spn#sonic#sth#teen titans#redbubble#inprnt#prints#also you need a freaking. 100usd to be able to withdraw from inprnt apparently which SUCKS#and this moneys been freaking sitting there some of it is from a year ago man TwT
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The Study
Not only is this the start of my 'Moving In' series, I'm also calling it my birthday piece! I turn 24 on Tuesday and I'm trying hard not to think about the fact I'm overdue a quarter-life crisis.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 2.7K (oops)
Warnings: Pleasure Dom!Bucky, sub! reader, spanking, use of a vibrator, forced orgasms, kinda Dom vibes but totally consensual, degradation, safe word system but safe word not used, pet names
Summary: Bucky spends the weekend at your new house and you take him on a tour.
Minors, do not interact
Turning the key in the front door still feels odd. One of the very first changes you made to the house was installing a new locking mechanism on both doors and it hasn't had a chance to stiffen up yet.
The smell of paint is starting to dissipate but it hits you hardest when you open the front door. The hallway was one of the last areas of the house to be redecorated so the smell seems to be most noticeable right at the door.
"Damn, this place is deceptive." Bucky's remark makes you smile to yourself while you hang your jacket up. "It's a whole lot bigger on the inside than I thought."
"It surprised me too. All of the rooms are a nice size."
The house had ticked so many boxes for you. More than two bedrooms in a quiet development, a low maintenance garden, off road parking, a downstairs bathroom and the whole house has plenty of potential. The plan isn't to live here forever, after all. It should be easy enough for you to sell when you decide to move on.
You flick a few lights on in the hallway and toss your keys into the bowl on the hall table before you turn your attention back to Bucky standing in your living room. Despite the fact you hadn't removed your own shoes, he's taken his off, leaving them neatly at the doorway of the living room beside his travel bag.
He's respectful of your space; he always has been but it's nice to just have him in your space. It's nice to have him be part of it.
He walks slowly around the little living room, looking at the few ornaments and picture frames you'd collected. "That's cute." He's looking at a picture of you and your best friend, sitting on the floor of your old kitchen, laughing yourselves to tears over the fact your Christmas tree was three inches tall and cut out from the back of a cereal box. The photo brings a smile to your face every time you see it.
"Are you hungry? You've had a long day." You move over behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and kissing his back through his clothes while he looks at your pictures on the fireplace. He's had to travel for a few hours just to get here so you imagine he's bound to want something.
"I'm okay for now." You nod at his response, taking in the fact he's actually standing in your home.
The time you have with him is limited. That's how this works but for just less than two days, he's yours. After that, he'll go back home so you've learned to make the most of the time you have with him.
"Help yourself to whatever you like. Kitchen is down the hall." You don't even really want to move but you can't stand like this forever.
He turns in your arms so he's facing you and captures your lips in his. It's a soft, slow, gentle kiss; the kind you've been dreaming of since you last saw him. You need him to feel exactly how much you've missed him without having to tell him.
The kiss lasts for minutes, far beyond its natural end but neither of you care.
After what feels like forever, your lips part but your foreheads stay pressed together, both of you determined not to pull away.
"I still haven't gotten the grand tour." He's got the most beautiful eyes and they're locked on yours to the point that you'd almost forgotten he's never been here before. "But I want to start in your favourite room."
"Well, the study is my favourite. I converted one of the bedrooms into an office space."
"Show me."
You don't protest. Instead you head out of the living room and up the stairs to the furthest end of the hallway, with Bucky following closely behind you.
"These all used to be built-in storage units around a headboard for a bed. I took all the doors off the cabinets and made it into shelving." You'd turned the room into a space that you love. The walls are painted a light shade of cream with houseplants lined up between books on the shelves. Instead of storage around a headboard, you now have book shelves, arching around your desk. The other side of the room has a sofa that converts into a bed for extra guests and there's a beanbag in the corner by the window to read on.
"I see why it's your favourite. Odd mix of books here though." Bucky's eyes flick over the titles, ranging from your collection of political figures' autobiographies, the 'Diary of an Oxygen Thief' trilogy, the selection of books providing commentary on the criminal justice system and a good few classics.
"It is. But I like this room. It'll be cosy in winter once I get some fairy lights and nice and bright in summer. Somewhere to unwind." You're thinking out loud as you reach up to close the window and that's when you feel Bucky step behind you.
"I think we should celebrate." Bucky’s voice is low, his lips trailing up the side of your neck, heading towards the spot just behind your ear that he's always loved to kiss.
"I think..." He stops briefly on his path, taking a second to inhale deeply, determined to slow down. "I think we should make love in every room of your new house this weekend."
Fuck.
"Are you sure you're up for that? Because I can really stretch it out. I'm not sure how we're going to make it work in the pantry or the downstairs bathroom but I'm happy to try."
"Your 'pantry' is a cupboard." Bucky's breath is hot on your neck, and you feel his lips have curled into a smile.
"I know. You promised every room though." You can't help but tease him, although you're half serious. It's not your fault that you're keen. Not when he's kissing down your neck like that and holding your waist so your back is flush against him.
"You're a handful." You feel his fingertips graze the bare skin of your waist and you remember how nice it is to just be touched the way he touches you.
"I might be a handful but I can promise if I have my way, after you leave here on Sunday, you won't even be able to think about cumming again until Thursday at the very earliest."
"Jesus, that's one hell of a promise." He turns you around to face him and you notice his eyes are damn near twinkling with excitement.
You've got all weekend together; there's no need to rush but you can't help the overwhelming need to feel him sliding into you. That's when you feel closest to him and it's the closeness you're craving more than anything.
Your hand cups the side of his face, your thumb tracing across his freshly shaved jawline and you allow yourselves a second to just be together.
He smells familiar. The heat of his body against yours makes you feel safe. He makes you feel safe.
"I want to start with you though. I brought you a little something." He kisses your lips gently and smooths a hand down over your hair before he retreats downstairs to the bag that he'd brought a few changes of clothes in.
He returns with a small cardboard box with the tape on one end already cut.
"I didn't have time to wrap it. It arrived last minute." You're so busy trying to get into the box that you hadn't even noticed.
Inside the box are a few instruction manuals, a thin white cord and a black satin pouch. Inside the pouch is a neon pink toy that's thicker at each end, narrow in the middle and nicely curved.
"I've already charged it and paired it to my phone. This end slips inside you." He points to the thicker end, studying your face to make sure you're okay with this.
And why wouldn't you be? This is pretty damn close to a dream come true.
"Remember what you said last time I saw you? You wanted me to spank you. Maybe we should take it a little further." He's always been hesitant to do anything that would hurt you and that fact is the very reason you want him to. You know how much he wants to protect you and knowing he cares about you has you convinced that he's the right person to explore this with.
"Please." You whisper, beyond excited at the thought of getting everything you've begged him for. "What did you have in mind?"
"I'm thinking about you bent over this desk with this inside you and we'll start off with a couple of light taps to that pretty ass." He presses the button on the narrow part of the toy and it give a short buzz, coming to life in his hands.
Fuck, you're into this man. You're into his hesitation just as much as you're into his willingness to try something new.
"Traffic light safe word system. 'Red' and I'll stop, 'amber' and I'll give you a break, 'green' to keep going." He wants to be fully sure you know you're in control here, not that you ever had any doubt.
You nod and stretch up on your tiptoes to kiss him, this time with as much passion as you can manage. Your hands run through his hair while his trail over your body, your tongue flicking gently against his.
Just being around this man makes you wet, not that you'd ever admit that to him. Even the thought of him has you throbbing with arousal so now that he's here in front of you, your whole body feels like it's buzzing.
He touches you like he can't get enough. He can't get you close enough and it's beyond thrilling to be the subject of his need.
It's almost embarrassing that you get yourself worked up so easily but from the hungry look in his eyes when you undo the button of your jeans, he doesn't seem to mind.
You step out of your jeans and panties and Bucky helps you out of your top and bra, leaving you naked in your study.
"Look at you." Bucky sounds like he's almost in awe, no matter how many times he's seen you naked.
He kisses you again, matching the same passion he'd had earlier, trailing his hands over your soft, warm skin until his fingers are nestled between your thighs.
"Fuck, you're soaked." His fingertips trail between the folds of your sex, gathering the wetness he's responsible for. "Good girls don't get this wet at the thought of being spanked. You know that, don't you?"
You're almost too turned on to even respond to him. "Bend over. I want to see how well you take your toy."
You do as you're told, bending over your desk while Bucky drops to his knees behind you to slip the toy inside you. You feel him trail the thicker end of the toy against your slick cunt, gathering enough wetness to let it slip inside you comfortably.
Within a minute, the toy comes to life inside you and there's no way to stifle the moan that catches in your throat.
Not only is the internal part vibrating at a low, delightful buzz, the other end is pressed right to your clit and is stimulating it at the same strength.
"Did I say you could make a sound?" Bucky quizzes, sounding harsher than ever and when he gets no response, his hand comes down on your ass with so much force that it makes you yelp.
It was a hell of a spank and you can feel heat blooming under the skin of your left cheek, quickly followed by another spank to the right.
"For the record, you can make as much noise as you need to. But only because I've told you that you can. You see the difference?"
You force yourself not to nod and it has the effect you were hoping for. Two more harsh, painful spanks are delivered, one to each cheek, the same as before.
You don't know if you imagined it but the toy inside you feels stronger. You can't be sure if you're just focusing on the pleasure over the pain or if Bucky really has turned it up.
"Does that feel nice, sweetheart?" He needs to know you're enjoying this because a little part of him is surprised at just how much he's into it. He gets to control both your pleasure and your pain because you want him to and the trust alone is enough to get him off.
"Feels amazing, fuck. Making such a mess." Stringing sentences together isn't easy but you swear you're about to cum already. Your nipples rub delightfully against the wooden desk and you swear every sensation is heightened.
"I wish you could see the mess you're making. Looks fucking delicious." He turns the toy up ever so slightly but that's enough to send you spiralling, gripping the edge of the desk as pleasure ripples through your entire body.
You can do nothing but sob, cumming relentlessly because he's refused to turn the toy down. Even after you're done, he keeps it at the same intensity, moving on like nothing happened.
"You say the sluttiest things. That promise of yours to totally drain me. Who says shit like that? So fucking filthy."
"I mean it. I want every drop of cum you can give me. And then more." You know saying something like that will earn you another spank and it does.
"You're not just acting like a slut. You are a slut. You spend your life hiding it from everyone else but you can't hide it from me." A shiver runs down your spine. You almost feel like you've been caught. Like he's figured you out and now you have nothing left to hide. "Say it."
It's a clear instruction but saying it makes it real.
Your hesitation earns you another sharp spank, heat prickling both your face and your ass at the same time.
"Don't make me tell you twice." For someone hesitant to slip into a dominant role, he's absolutely nailing it.
"I'm your slut." Your voice is less steady than you would've hoped but the words at clear at the very least.
"My slut?" He almost sounds like he can't believe what he heard.
"Yours. Your slut." You repeat, wishing you could see his face.
"Oh sweetheart, that's cute." He means it too. He turns the toy up as a reward and even though it's only at half its full strength, you can't help but cum again, pleading your way through another blinding orgasm.
"Such a good girl for me. That's it. Cum nice and hard. Give that slutty little pussy what it needs." He lands one more harsh spank on your ass and you swear it only makes you cum harder, to the point that your legs are shaking.
But all of a sudden, the sensation stops completely.
"B-Bucky?" You ask, turning around to look at him, wondering if something went wrong.
"Don't want to wear you out, sweetheart. I think that'll do for now." You agree that it's probably a good place to stop and you have no problem taking the toy out for a while.
He pulls you in close, resting your head on his chest, letting you catch your breath while he holds you and kisses your forehead.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" His voice is soft, hoping that you'll tell him the truth.
"No. It was perfect." You smile, capturing his lips in yours, hoping to relieve some of his fear. You're almost giddy with excitment. It truly was everything you needed and you fully intend to thank him for it before the weekend is over.
"Good. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would." He's back to the gentle, tender touches that you're so used to from him and it's a blessing that he can flick so effortlessly between both personas.
"How about we order in and stick a movie on?" He suggests, kissing the tip of your nose. "Go put on something comfortable. I'll find a takeout."
#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky barnes x you#dad’s best friend!bucky#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfic#marvel fanfic#bucky barnes fic#dbf!bucky#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x female reader smut#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#writing this was unexpectedly nostalgic#one of my favourite photos is of Amy and I sitting on the floor of my student flat in December a few years ago#we were drinking wine and working on an assignment and she noticed the only Christmas decoration we had was cut out from a cereal box#she laughed so hard she cried#I got to tell her recently about the house#but I hadn't even thought about the fact we can make as many happy memories in my new place as we did in my old uni flat#and that's made me even more excited#it's so weird to think that this is my last birthday in this house though
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holy shit time flies...
#random#idk the other day i was just looking at the sun coming through my window and it dawned on me#life changed so much in the last 11 years#for the best... but damn#i'd only want to go back in time#only for my health#but i would never give up all the experiences i went through#the friendships made and lost#the failures and victories#ig it really is just life#it still makes me laugh tho how back in the days i had my majora wallpaper#fast forward and one of my best friend gifted me the 3D figurine... ig some things never change#i'll always be a mm fan and i love her sm#but really...#the fucking disgusting chair with pillows in 2013?#disguting#i didn't care tho... i was a poor student who lived constantly for 7 years under 1k in my bank account OTL#i usually hang my left over merch because...#idk#i want to be proud to look at them too#i spend HOURS ON THOSE T0T#then i got that one other wall that's just craking down with artist merch OTL#it's weird to feel like you've lived a long time now...#like i remeber very clearly 10+ years ago#it's so strange...
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Here's Fuelcas from the mod! Im old and tired but miss them terribly. Some of these have been stuffed away in a closet for YEARS now. Please enjoy them.
#fuel#lucas#fuelcas#mother 3#mod post#IM SO TIRED I NEVER DRAW LIKE AT ALL#maybe when i go back to uni i'll try to open the box again if it means fucking off from schoolwork.#it'll just be like college again.#i dropped out years ago btw.#im gonna be a law student starting in january!#implying i'll actually go into the field!#i love my current job as a blackjack/poker dealer tho.#lucas cheats the rest out of them out of their money in poker.#a concept from 5 years ago i wanna revisit so bad#fuelcas real for almost 6 years now??? im SO OLDDDD
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Today has been pretty rough for me. Luckily these little guys choose the perfect day to arrive <3
I love them. They are so cute I love them so much. These are from @tubbytarchia's shop... im actually so happy about them being here. Today has been really rough but I'm feeling better now :)
Also AAAAGGHHH *explodes*
It was so cute I had to put it on my collection of various types of insanity board. The little guys <3<3<3<3<3
#The keychains are going on my bag :D and I'm going to put the stickers on my archery bow case#Not today though. I want to look at them a little longer#And little standee Jim is going to go on my little shelf!!!!! I'm going to reorganize and find a perfect spot for him#Maybe next to my grian head... who knows#And yes the magnetic board is covered with old scraps of paper and poetry magnets. Half of the drawings were taken off of#Assignments students at the summer camp I worked at turned in. The writing you see in the top left corner is actually#The entirety of Eggman's announced written from memory. That was made a year ago. I wrote it in class while I was bored#And the writing in blue ink is a fake receipt. I wrote it as world building/inspo for a unrequited wlw love story I was working on.#Sadly didn't finish it but good memories!!!#notjimmy#modfinny#I'm so scared to tag them lol#Posting this here because it's. Like it's Jimmy. But also slightly personal hence why no proper tags except for my own tagging system
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autistic man does public speaking and doesn't die
#the stage fright was palpable#i actually have got over my stage fright :D#like a year ago now but still#the three students#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#sherlock & co.#sherlock holmes#sherlock and co fanart#sherlock & co fanart#my art#stage fright#autistic sherlock
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A spy... An assassin... this is so exciting!!
#tangled#spy x family#rapunzel#eugene fitzherbert#loid forger#yor forger#crossover fanart#I finally remembered my tumblr password lol#I think it's been literally years since I posted on here wow#Last time I was here I was a mere med student#and now I am a full fledged doctor#It's crazyyyy#dont have time to draw anymore#:(#I did this months ago before I even started working#forgot about it#found it again#so voila#I've been mad busy tho so will probs disappear for another few years#But i might get back into doing fanart again cuz tidying this one up to post was therapeutic af#I need that kinda relaxation ya know#anyway#anyone still a Tangled fan anymore#Or have we all moved on now#if anyone is out there please send me a signal!#Also when is Spy x family coming back someone tell me#I want more of itttt#I miss my weekly dose of loid forger#I drew Pascal as Anya but he just felt out of place so I took him out I'm sorryyy#Maybe I'll post him separately
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so i finally got my official acceptance email for that executive assistant college program!! i mean it was pretty much a done deal, i was positive i would be accepted, but still it's nice to have the official yes. also, classes start in 10 days and i still don't know what my class schedule will look like. it's ridiculous! i have a new job and i can't even give them my availabilities jasnvsadasjh
#it's really funny being a student again after graduating film school 8 years ago dsfkjbdfs#i hope i'm not the oldest one in my classes#probably not tbh. at that information session last month there were people of all ages so#shut up alie
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#just got my student evals and also quit on the same day :)#i should've told them ages ago so that is genuinely my bad#but it was kind of surreal to get all my feedback like you're so awesome and patient and a great teacher and me being like aww.#i'm outtie tho#rippp#i love being a teacher!#but it killed me this year so i'm . reevaluating
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